Why NOBODY likes programming

Author's note. Originally I thought of condensing a year into one post. It's original intent was to be solemn, depressing and sad. After getting to the second paragraph, I realized it couldn't be so. Read at your own discretion. Mostly due to language.

Wow. For starters I haven't been on blogger in a LONG time. Nearly a year since my last post! Holy shit. Well I never expected Blogger to undergo a huge cosmetic shift. I really don't like this new layout. It's sleak. It's nice. But I'm not sure how quickly I'll get used to it. Since, well, I've been MIA for about a year. So what's happened? I graduated..."BORING!" Who fuckin cares? No body. Every year people graduate. Who the fuck cares? I don't know.

You may be reconsidering reading this blog now. "Tommy, why are you so aggressive/pissed off tonight?" I'LL TELL YOU WHY. I've spent the past month and a half...two months actually...and the every hour of last week trying to figure out how to create an online survey. First it was the HTML, which wasn't so bad. "How do you get the website to render the survey?" Well there's a stupid script caleld PHP that needs to read the survey. Ok, just a small snag. So I find a shitload of tutorials to help me write the PHP, and after a few dozen attempts at uploading the PHP and HTML to the server, it doesn't render. WHY? BECAUSE THE SERVER CANNOT READ PHP. What the hell? Okay, one more hickup. PHP.net has a solution. Except it doesn't have the executable file I need. Twitch? Well after a Google, I find it. Ok. Finally the site can render the survey/PHP/whatever. But you know what? The survey can't be emailed! Oh sure, there is a confirmation page. "Thank you for completing our survey!" Yeah, well it didn't do jackshit because it didn't email anything out! Why? I did the HTML! I did the PHP! O? What's that? You need server side script/program called "form handling" or "cgi" to actually have the form/email sent? What the fuck, technology? Why the hell is it so damn complicated to get one survey across the friggin internet into my mailbox? If Harry Potter's owl...actually...if RON's owl PIG can find Sirius Black out there when the, "O, scary bad lazy piece of shit Ministy of Magic" can't, then certainly this stupid PHP should handle a simple request of "send survey to email." But no. You need a middle man on the server side to send it. Oh, what happened, PHP? Can't handle the real internet world? How bout you go suck it and send the stupid survey to my email?

I'm not sure if it is me, mainly because I'm very ignorant and inexperienced, or just that people don't explain it in their tutorials. Whenever someone finishes a tutorial, I think they assume your server can read PHP and has a CGI script that can render the info. WELL I DIDN'T KNOW. I spent HOURS upon HOURS thinking I'm a complete idiot who can't follow along to a 20 minute video and typing $headers, $bullshitbullshit into Dreamweaver. I MADE A BILLION SURVEYS ON DREAMWEAVER AND WATCHED THAT 20-MINUTE VIDEO, PLUS OTHERS, THINKING I CAN'T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. When, in actuality, there were parts missing. "Oh, make sure your server can read PHP." "Oh, make sure your server has CGI to render the PHP." "Ohm make sure you're not a dumbass." WELL I AM A DUMBASS.

So to all those IT people who get shit on. I feel your pain. Some people are too impatient. "Oh, my desktop can't connect to the internet! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DESKTOP AFTER I BROUGHT IT OVER TO BE FIXED???" Well did YOU remember to plug in the ethernet cable?