The Tao of the Processor

I had this computer related conversation with my niece and she didn’t understand the correlation between RAM and processors. I don’t know anything about which processor is best and what have you, but this was the best analogy I could come up with. I give you “The Tao of the Processor.”

Empty your mind. You better recognize that’s a segue into Bruce Lee. Imagine Bruce Lee is a single processor for a computer. What kind of processor? A fuckin Intel dragon-kicks-your-Centrino-ass processor, how bout that? Anyways…so we have a gigantic computer that’s actually a large dojo, presumably 1600 square feet. So Bruce can do whatever he wants…he can go do some chi sao on the wooden dummy, punch a bag a few times…gets kinda boring with these small processes, huh? It’s like playing fuckin minesweeper where the mines can’t detonate cause your dragon-kicking-ass-processor destroys ‘em. So let’s open up a program, say something basic like Internet Explorer.

Now of course we need RAM to actually get data and actually open such programs. So let’s get some RAM: karate students or what have you. One karate student = 1 megabyte of RAM. Just to make things interesting, we’ll give him 10 MB of RAM. Now this is probably an insufficient analogy, but hold on. Of course Bruce Lee will take out 10 MB of RAM easily. He’s the fastest fuckin processor taking on one process: pwning 10 karate kids. So if we have him doing that for a while, gets kinda boring. Actually, we’ll have to wait a full 10 minutes until more data comes in cause quite frankly, 10 MB of RAM makes everything fairly slow and boring.

So let’s give him one gig of RAM (1,000 karate kids). For all intents and purposes, Bruce Lee is about 1000x faster and more inhuman than ever and kicks all their asses, just as a worthy processor should with 1 gig of RAM. The reason we add RAM is to allow the processor get data and information faster. So Bruce Lee is kicking ass until…we upgrade to 2 GB of RAM! For one lil processor like Bruce Lee, he can’t handle 2,000 opponents. Sorry Bruce, but we need to get a second processor to help you carry out the data. Let’s grab Jackie Chan and he’ll be the second processor. Now we have dual core processors. Jackie Chan can be…Intel-drunken-master-processor. Not as cool as Bruce, I know, but no one tops Bruce. So with these two processors kicking ass, more RAM runs in to take their place until we upgrade to quad-core processors. Now we have Jet Li, the Intel-I’m-Nobody’s-Bitch-Processor and Tony Jaa, the Intel-Ong-Bok-Processor (all my processors were made in Asia, ok?) and we have them taking on 4 gigs of RAM. Can you believe it? 4 guys take on 4,000 students! It’s not a 1:4000 fight let me tell you now. 1:1 is an MMA caged fight, ok? This is a battle of 4 kickass martial artists whose philosophies are so intertwined with their lifestyles that they blow the competition of the fuckin ports that the computer actually loses RAM. Another upgrade? I think so. Who’s gonnaa be the next processor? Well you tell me!

when archaic love clashes with two-sided morals...

this conversation was based on a discussion between myself and a friend through facebook. ive thought about writing these sort of ideas for a while now but never sat down to think...here is the beginning of these inner monologues:

my friend and i began talking about weddings and she mentioned physical beauty and the fear of what may come when she ages. these were my responses:

if love was based on physical beauty than what really matters...the person's true nature, then love itself wouldn't matter...

cause...of course with age people's physical features change, but their true nature will always remain just as beautiful...i mean if someone truly loves you then physical beauty is no important at all

well nobody is perfect. even the most brilliant people have flaws. people who use their knowledge to help others are more noble than people who glamorize themselves to impress people because when someone helps another, they are helping the world. when people make themselves look good, it's not to help anyone but themselves

they are hiding behind their beauty because aside from that, they can't help anyone who is starving or dying or anything but there are some people who have the looks and can aid the world, but if your knowledge alone can help someone that is more beautiful already

at the end she mentioned that while i use my personal morals to develop these notions, not many people feel this way. which is very true to say the least. everyone is bottled up within their own layers of makeup and muscle that we are not improving ourselves for our own benefit but merely attract others and gain their respect.