Why does the heart hurt?

This world is truly a small place. We meet people we would never imagine would return to our lives. Sometimes it is for the better. There meetings, arrangements, are usually for the better. And yet we forget that life is not always about ease or comfort. Instead, we are tortured into facing our ethic and moral choices and need to decide between what is moral and what is legal.

Even then the legal system cannot solve everything. We all know this. There is too much litigation, time and organizing the evidence. Then we have time, money and headache. The only chance we have at fully gaining justice is if we are allowed to take matters into our own hands. Liam Neeson did so when his daughter was captured in the movie Taken. He kicked ass and got away with a lot. Now we can't do that cause the rule of law would destroy us.

Our moral ethics and understanding push us to do things we would never consider. When faced with death or something you truly believe in, neither law nor ethics can prevent you from action. That's the most frightening thing. Last Saturday, I foolishly brought my girlfriend to the University Mall. I can't even say foolishly because no one could have predicted. But she gave me a sign that something was wrong, I was just too blind to see and understand. Just as we entered the parking lot and before the bus stopped, she told me her heart hurt. From what she wouldn't tell me and I couldn't figure it out. We stepped off the bus, went to McDonalds and I had a late lunch. What was meant to be a day of enjoyment amongst each others' company and waiting to move into the new apartment became a struggle to evade a stalker.

You'd never believe it. We went into Claire's for about 10 minutes to look at hats. I got a call from my friend and had to resist the urge to call for her to pick us up without explaining the danger. And all this time I wondered how far I would go to protect her. I promised I would. Should I fail her life would be in more danger. Should I succeed would I be arrested? When we left, he was there waiting. The fastest thing I could think of was going to Hallmark. For one I needed to get a Thank You card. But would he follow us inside? And he waited outside, talking with a saleswoman. Again 10 more minutes inside the store, and when we left he was with two of his friends. We took another route and they followed. How sadistic can someone be? Honestly... I left when you took her away. When she asked you to leave you continue to pursue. And all these thoughts filled my mind. Everything that happened in the past went through my mind. I wondered who else would choose to protect her. I think I've always tried to protect her. I left when she needed me to, when I needed to to be safe. And now I'm here to protect her when she needs safety most.

I don't know what's going on. If one is willing to fight to protect someone for safety, and willing to let go of everything, is that considered love? He is willing to fight others just to get completely random girls. I'm willing to fight to protect one. And when this girl is the same one I've mentioned in the past, not QQ or the train girl, does that make a difference? I don't know. No matter what now, I truly worry about her safety. and now I'm starting to feel that I may push her away when being overprotective. Honestly...I learned a lot of things that the stalker did. It's so hard to hear the truth, but even harder not telling her and wanting her to discover this on her own. If I say it, it really means nothing. I'm just the guy who complains about nothing, and people tell me to loosen up or something. But then, when people discover the truth on their own, it's kinda too late. But people need to discover things on their own. But after that encounter and getting her out of there (which he still followed us to the bus stop and he had a verbal confrontation), I told her what I knew. Sigh...compared to protecting someone, relationships are kinda easy. Anyways...o well...