60 Year Old Asian Fetish Unsatisfied...

Last Saturday was a Thanksgiving potluck at my friend's apartment...and it wasn't really a Thanksgiving potluck...granted it was just a small get together dinner sort of thing. And the weather on Saturday was raining pretty damn hard. But it's New England...weather sucks up here. Ain't any snow in Btown and Thanksgiving's next week...

So coming back, it was raining hard and we took a cab. Which was free cause...campus does some free transportation for students going to campus. Which is fine and all...but one of my friends lives off campus and I didn't know where. Dropped off and she asked if the cabbie could bring her back to the North End. Sketchy ass place over there...and cabbie said there would be an extra fee. Which made sense...off campus? So she's left behind cause no cash for the ride home...and I decide to walk her back. The North End is a sketchy place...especially in the down-pouring rain. At 9:00 pm...and boy were there sketchy people. I didn't even know where we were going half the time...we took so many different roads downtown and then over when we could've walked straight..but that was a sketchy road 'cording to her. So downtown...drunk college students being rowdy and annyoing mofos...fuck...some chick comes up to me:
"Hey! Hey! Ima SO sorry Chinese boy fo' be-in' loud...my farend's buthday is tooooday and-" STFU right there drunk girl. Like I give a fuck who's bday it is? Don't touch me...

So we keep walking...and walking...a little more...past the bright lights of downtown. To the auburn street lights of North Ave. Ain't nobody here but the gal and I. Cars only on the sidewalks. Rain pattering the umbrella. A red light blurred behind eerie fog...some hobo limping towards us with coins jingling in a tin cup like a homeless zombie...

Before we arrived at her apartment, she asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink...very sweet of her. Even invited me to stay the night cause of the rain and 30-minute walk back. I politely declined...got work tomorrow and don't wanna rush getting there.

We get to her place and she goes: "So my two roommates are old people. They are like 60 years old. One man and one woman. Take your shoes off when you enter the house because the woman will be mad." Well...but pants are soaked...so I go in...old lady is jamming to her tunes...cat named Jeremiah?...check out the place. Then I'm about to leave when the old lady finally takes off her headphones. Talks to me about living there. The freezing library. Jeremiah again...a sewn blanket...then I tell them I gotta head back.

"You're walking in the rain?"
"Yeah. I got an umbrella."
"Do you want a ride?"
"Nah, it's ok. I don't want to bother you. I'll be okay...I grew up in Vermont...nothing's gonna kill me..."

Which is almost true...well it was for me. Although I did run into some weird people along the way...damn hobo zombie...

Well today rolls around and I meet my friend again who is all excited to see me. "Tommy! You remember that 60-year-old roommate I have? Debra? She talked about you when you left!"
"Yeah?"
"She say you are the cutest, hottest boy!" says says, punching my shoulder. I don't believe her. I actually thought she was distracting me from playing pool. "She say you are so kind and nice-"
"Why would she say hot? That's...maybe she has the wrong vocab? Hot..." well let me just say this right now. Out of story context...I am NOT hot.
"No! I bring people and guys and girls over for parties, and Debra never talk to me about the boys I bring over. You are the first boy she talked about!"

Cause I walked you back home in the rain? Uh...well then...if Debra's got a granddaughter my age...that's just fine...to which my friends say Debra has an Asian fetish. Which means I'm not going back...there...again...which I wouldn't even be able to find my way there even if I wanted to go back. HA! So...if she were like 20 years younger maybe I'd consider it...MILF anyone? GILFs...uh...you can go to urbandictionary for the definition...and I'm not into that. Experience? Yeah...NO. Huge cultural divide...and that goes beyond me being Chinese and her being...American? Cause I was born in America....there is a huge generation gap. If she has a granddaughter...which I don't doubt...I'm down for that. Word?

"Oh....you've brought that cute lil Chinese boy over again. Oh young whippersnapper, I have someone I'd like you to meet..."